MOUNTAIN VIEW, CA (Worthy Satire) – Google executives reportedly entered what insiders described as “full corporate yoga breathing mode” after Google Maps began showing “Lake America” following President Trump’s executive order.
According to fictional sources familiar with the panic room, the trouble began when one engineer refreshed the map and noticed the lake had not only changed names but had also turned red, white, and blue, began softly humming “The Battle Hymn of the Republic,” and displayed a pop-up reading: “Freedom Detected. Recalculating Route.”
“We just wanted to update a geographic label,” one trembling executive allegedly whispered while hugging a reusable water bottle made from recycled apologies. “Nobody told us the lake would start saluting.”
The situation escalated when Google’s internal AI assistant suggested renaming nearby Canadian geese “undocumented freedom ducks,” prompting three diversity consultants, two cartographers, and one emotionally exhausted intern to immediately request a sabbatical.
Meanwhile, patriotic users celebrated the update by attempting to leave five-star reviews for the lake, with one writing, “Great body of water. Very American. Would invade again by kayak.”
Google has since clarified that the lake’s new color scheme was “not an official feature,” though engineers admitted they are still trying to remove a giant digital bald eagle that keeps landing on Toronto whenever users zoom in too closely.
At press time, Apple Maps was reportedly waiting to see whether the lake also came with a charging cable.
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