(Worthy Satire) – In a stunning victory for clocks, calendars, and attorneys who bill by the quarter-hour, a jury sided with OpenAI after finding that Elon Musk’s lawsuit was not filed on time.
Legal experts say the case may become a landmark moment in the ancient judicial principle known as “Thou shalt check the deadline before launching the lawsuit.”
The ruling reportedly shocked observers, especially after a team of lawyers spent countless billable hours determining that the best legal strategy was to arrive at the courthouse after the legal equivalent of the doors had already been locked, the lights turned off, and the janitor had finished vacuuming.
One anonymous attorney praised the outcome as “a beautiful reminder that justice may be blind, but billing software sees everything.”
Sources close to the legal profession said the late filing created an unexpected windfall for lawyers, who were able to invoice for “deadline analysis,” “post-deadline strategy development,” “calendar interpretation,” “emotional support over missed filing window,” and “urgent meeting to discuss why the urgent meeting should have happened earlier.”
Meanwhile, courtroom observers noted that the judge appeared visibly unimpressed by arguments suggesting that artificial intelligence should have reminded everyone what human lawyers are paid handsomely to remember.
At press time, the legal team was reportedly preparing an appeal, a motion to reconsider, and a 47-page invoice titled Time Is Money, Especially When You Miss the Time.
Worthy Satire is meant purely for comedic purposes—after all, as Proverbs reminds us, “Laughter is good medicine.” But behind every satire is a real story, video, or event. For the unspun version of the headline, be sure to check out the original source. [ Source of the Satire (Read More…) ]
