(Worthy Satire) – Everything was going smoothly when a new drone delivery service began dropping pizzas across parts of Texas in under two minutes — until local skeet shooters realized the pizzas were arriving at approximately “perfect shotgun altitude.”
The company behind the service proudly advertised that customers could receive a hot pepperoni pie faster than they could preheat an oven. Unfortunately, they failed to account for one important regional factor: Texans viewing fast-moving airborne objects as “an opportunity.”
Within hours of launch, social media filled with videos of men standing in open fields yelling, “PULL!” as mozzarella-filled drones zig-zagged across the evening sky.
One man reportedly shouted, “Son, this is the most exciting dinner we’ve had since Uncle Randy deep-fried a Thanksgiving turkey next to the propane tank.”
Company executives say they initially believed technical malfunctions were causing delivery failures. “We couldn’t understand why every drone disappeared over rural properties,” one spokesperson explained. “Then we reviewed footage and discovered customers were intentionally ordering extra-large pizzas just to improve the target profile.”
The trend escalated after several churches announced “Fellowship Skeet & Eat Nights,” where participants compete for both marksmanship trophies and surviving slices.
Local Texans defended the practice, insisting it combines “faith, family, freedom, and stuffed crust” into one wholesome activity.
Meanwhile, drone engineers are scrambling to redesign the fleet with evasive maneuvers, including sudden altitude drops, fake duck sounds, and a holographic sticker reading “NOT FOR TARGET PRACTICE.”
At press time, one drone reportedly escaped safely after delivering a Hawaiian pizza — because nobody in the county wanted to claim it.
Worthy Satire is meant purely for comedic purposes—after all, as Proverbs reminds us, “Laughter is good medicine.” But behind every satire is a real story, video, or event. For the unspun version of the headline, be sure to check out the original source. [ Source of the Satire (Read More…) ]
