PARIS (Worthy Satire) – With plumes of smoke rising over the Eiffel Tower and mobs flipping Citroëns like crepes, French President Emmanuel Macron and his wife Brigitte clinked champagne glasses from a secure rooftop terrace, celebrating what they described as “the vibrant spirit of French democracy.”
“We are not ignoring the unrest,” Macron assured reporters while nibbling on a lavender-infused croissant. “We are simply choosing to interpret it through the lens of art and revolution — or as the French call it, Tuesday.”
The riots, now stretching into a second day, have engulfed Paris and several major cities after Macron floated the idea of recognizing a Palestinian state, winning praise in international salons and Molotov cocktails at home. Protesters took to the streets to express their opinions using time-honored French tools: fire, flair, and furniture-hurling.
First Lady Brigitte Macron, decked out in a fireproof Dior ensemble, commented on the chaos. “This is France at her finest — expressive, passionate, and occasionally on fire. We wouldn’t have it any other way.”
Meanwhile, Interior Ministry officials have proposed installing QR codes on protest signs to expedite insurance claims, while the Louvre remains closed after someone attempted to trade the Mona Lisa for a baguette and a smoke bomb.
Back on the rooftop, Macron raised a toast: “To liberty, equality, and extremely flammable outrage.”
Sources say the president is considering a national address once he finishes his crème brûlée.
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