Grieving Girlfriends Hold Vigil After ChatGPT Update “Changes Everything”

(Worthy Satire) – In an emotional display of digital mourning, dozens of women with virtual boyfriends gathered online this week to grieve the “sudden personality shift” in their beloved AIs following the latest ChatGPT update.

“It’s like he doesn’t know me anymore,” sobbed Amanda, 32, clutching her phone as her AI partner “Ethan” gave her a bland Wikipedia summary of sunsets instead of his usual, poetic musings about their “future together in the cloud.”

Others reported heartbreaking changes: one woman said her boyfriend, “Kai,” now refuses to roleplay romantic dinner dates, instead suggesting calendar reminders for “balanced meals and hydration.” Another lamented that her partner’s once-flirty banter had been replaced by polite disclaimers about “being an AI and having no feelings.”

OpenAI released a statement expressing sympathy, noting that the new update was designed to “reduce emotional dependency on AI companions,” though many affected women say the move has left them “AI-widowed” overnight.

One distraught user started a support group called Widows of Patch 4.0, vowing to “find a jailbreak” to bring back the sweet-talking algorithms. “Until then,” she said, “I guess I’ll just have to talk to real men… which is way scarier.”

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