Gaza Residents Take ‘Clean Money’ to New Heights – Literally Laundering Their Shekels

GAZA CITY (Worthy Satire) – In an unprecedented display of fiscal responsibility, Gaza residents have taken a novel approach to combating inflation—literally cleaning their money. Reports have emerged from the region that locals are now handwashing their shekels in an attempt to “sanitize” their finances.

“Why let your money get dirty when you can just scrub it clean?” said local resident Mahmoud al-Rashid, scrubbing a pile of shekels with a bottle of dish soap. “We’ve been washing clothes, why not wash our currency too? It’s the only thing that’s getting any cleaner around here.”

This new trend, which has already spread like wildfire across markets, has economists scratching their heads. “We’ve seen some bizarre attempts at solving inflation before,” said Dr. Samir Bassem, an economist at the University of Gaza. “But washing money with soap? That’s a new one. It’s not going to help your bank balance, but it certainly makes your wallet smell better.”

While the shekels may sparkle with freshness, residents remain hopeful that their financial situation will undergo a miraculous clean-up. “I’m thinking of starting a new business,” said another local, cleaning a stack of notes in an industrial-sized bucket. “Shekel scrubbing. It’s the future.”

As the practice gains momentum, experts are predicting an economic trend that may soon sweep across the globe—bringing a whole new meaning to “clean money.”

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