(Worthy Satire) – In what witnesses are calling “the most awkward game of Whac-A-Mole ever,” California firefighters were summoned this weekend to free a confused adult who somehow wedged herself inside a Chuck E. Cheese arcade game.
Firefighters arrived to find the woman squirming inside the machine like a prize no one wanted to win, while dozens of children stood around in awe, treating her like the newest exhibit at the local zoo. “It was like they were watching a rare species in captivity,” said one firefighter, noting the kids’ complete lack of concern for her wellbeing as they pointed, laughed, and asked if she could do a Fortnite dance.
Desperate for help, the woman had apparently tried to Google her way out of the situation — only for the search engine to offer her targeted ads about “maturity coaching” and “how to finally grow up.”
“It was one of the weirdest rescues of my career,” admitted the fire captain. “We’re trained for burning buildings and car accidents — not for prying a 38-year-old out of a plastic prize chute.”
Chuck E. Cheese has since announced it will be upgrading its machines with “adult-proof” security measures — which will also conveniently keep out parents trying to steal their kids’ tickets.
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