Greta Thunberg Announces Second Gaza Protest Flotilla — Says She Wants to Smile Again

(Worthy Satire) – Climate activist and part-time maritime drama enthusiast Greta Thunberg announced today that she will embark on a second Gaza protest flotilla, declaring her main motivation was to “finally feel joy again.”

“The last time I truly smiled,” Thunberg said wistfully, “was when the Israeli Navy boarded my last boat. There’s just something about heavily armed commandos swinging onto the deck that warms my eco-warrior heart. I want to feel that spark again.”

The upcoming voyage, dubbed Operation Hug the Harbor, will feature an all-organic, solar-powered, gluten-free vessel—although sources confirm it will be secretly towed by a diesel tug “for emergencies, photo ops, and Starbucks runs.”

Critics have questioned the wisdom of a second flotilla, but Thunberg insists it’s necessary for her personal growth. “Sure, I could protest in Sweden, but nothing says ‘making a difference’ like getting politely arrested in international waters while live-streaming to Instagram,” she explained.

When asked if she feared another IDF boarding party, Thunberg grinned for the first time in months. “That’s the point,” she whispered. “Board me, boys… for the planet.”

Worthy Satire is meant purely for comedic purposes—after all, as Proverbs reminds us, “Laughter is good medicine.” But behind every satire is a real story, video, or event. For the unspun version of the headline, be sure to check out the original source. [ Source of the Satire (Read More…) ]

Breaking (Not Fake) News: Latest from Worthy News – No Satire, We Promise

Nigeria Emerging as Hub for 22 Islamic Terror Groups, Report Warns
A new report by the International Society for Civil Liberties and the Rule of Law (Intersociety) warns that Nigeria has become the headquarters for 22...

Israel in Talks With Five Nations on Possible Resettlement of Gazans
Israel is engaged in discussions with five countries — Indonesia, Somaliland, Uganda, South Sudan, and Libya — over the potential voluntary resettlement of Palestinians from...

Ukraine’s President in Berlin amid Concern Over Trump-Putin Summit (Worthy News Radio)
Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelenskyy arrived in Germany’s capital, Berlin, on Wednesday to join a videoconference with European leaders and U.S. President Donald J. Trump amid...

IDF Chief of Staff Approves Framework for Gaza City Offensive as Tensions Rise
The Israel Defense Forces (IDF) confirmed Wednesday that Chief of Staff Lt. Gen. Eyal Zamir has formally approved the central framework for a major military...

Embattled Serbian President Not Running In Elections
Serbia’s President Aleksandar Vucic, facing protests over his perceived authoritarian style, says he does not intend to run in the next presidential election. The post...

U.S. and China Clash at U.N. Over Panama Canal Control
The United States and China clashed sharply Monday at a U.N. Security Council meeting over growing concerns about control and influence over the Panama Canal,...

Israel’s Foreign Minister Rejects Palestinian State, Rejoins Likud in Party Merger
Israel "will not allow" its land to be used for the creation of a Palestinian state, Foreign Minister Gideon Sa'ar declared Wednesday, urging nations promoting...

E3 Nations Threaten Snapback Sanctions on Iran as Nuclear Deadline Approaches
In a decisive move that signals mounting international pressure on Tehran, Britain, France, and Germany--collectively known as the E3--have informed the United Nations they are...

Trump Deploys National Guard, Takes Control of D.C. Police in Sweeping Crackdown on Crime and Homelessness
National Guard troops and hundreds of federal agents have been deployed across Washington, D.C., after President Donald Trump invoked emergency powers to take direct control...

Comey, Classified Leaks, and the Media: Newly Declassified FBI Memos Reveal Coordinated Effort to Target Trump
In a revelation shaking the foundations of the Trump-Russia collusion narrative, newly declassified FBI documents confirm that former FBI Director James Comey utilized a private...

U.S. National Debt Surges Past $37 Trillion Amid Soaring Spending and Rising Interest Costs
The U.S. government’s gross national debt has surpassed $37 trillion for the first time in history, according to Treasury Department figures released Tuesday, marking a...

Trump to Meet Zelenskyy, European Leaders Ahead of High-Stakes Summit with Putin in Alaska
President Donald Trump is set to speak with Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelenskyy and key European leaders on Wednesday morning, just two days before a high-stakes,...