“Trans Men Are Men,” Declares Planned Parenthood—Then Asks Them to Check for a Uterus Just in Case

Confused Anatomy Awareness Month Begins with a Cervix-Screening Campaign for Men

(Worthy Satire) – Planned Parenthood sparked confusion and laughter online this week after launching a bold new campaign urging “men” to schedule their routine cervical cancer screenings. The organization doubled down on its long-standing slogan, “Trans men are men,” while reminding them that they may still need to get their cervix examined—assuming they haven’t misplaced it.

“We affirm that men can have uteruses, and therefore, men must be vigilant about cervical cancer,” said spokesperson Casey Spectrum, who uses all pronouns and communicates in interpretive dance. “This is about inclusion, equity, and reminding all people with XY energy and XX plumbing to stay healthy.”

Critics were quick to mock the campaign. “So now men need pap smears?” asked one bewildered commenter. “Do I need to get mine at Jiffy Lube or is it covered under fantasy insurance?”

In response, Planned Parenthood clarified that “men who were assigned female at birth and who haven’t had gender-affirming surgeries should still get screened.” When asked why the campaign didn’t just say that, the spokesperson blinked twice, rebooted, and offered a coupon for free rainbow stickers.

Meanwhile, actual men—biological and bewildered—were last seen backing away slowly from gynecological clinics, holding tight to their dignity and double-checking their anatomy.

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