(Worthy Satire) – In a shocking twist for modern activism, protesters across the globe have embraced the infamous Samsung Galaxy Note 7 as the ultimate tool for peaceful yet fiery protests. Once banned from airplanes due to its tendency to overheat and explode, the long-forgotten smartphone is now being hailed as the Molotov Cocktail of the Digital Age.
“No one should have that phone anymore,” warned the Federal Aviation Administration back in 2016. But activists have found that no one is precisely the right number to carry a Note 7 into a demonstration.
“We wanted to make a statement without violence,” said one organizer, cradling a Note 7 in oven mitts. “These devices allow us to light up the night—literally—while tweeting about social justice. It’s eco-friendly too: no need for lighter fluid.”
Reports indicate that tech-savvy demonstrators have begun trading their gas masks for fire-resistant gloves as Note 7s are taped to banners, signs, and sometimes megaphones. “It’s just a small spark for a big cause,” one protester commented, as their pocket began smoldering.
Samsung, for its part, declined to comment, though insiders suggest the company may be considering a “Note 7 Rebellion Edition,” complete with flame decals and a free fire extinguisher.
Airlines have issued a renewed warning: If you see someone carrying a Note 7 at the airport, run.
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