NASHVILLE, TN (Worthy Satire) – Chaos erupted on I-40 Tuesday morning after a pet zebra made a bold escape from a private farm, galloping onto the highway and causing a complete standstill. Authorities say the black-and-white fugitive blended in “a little too well” with prison transport uniforms, leading to initial fears of a mass breakout from the nearby county jail.
“It looked like one of our own had escaped,” said Sheriff Buck Hargrave. “Turns out it was just a four-legged fashion icon making a break for freedom.”
Dashcam footage shows the zebra zigzagging between sedans and semis like it was auditioning for Fast & Furiously Striped. Motorists were stunned, with one driver noting, “I thought I hit the zoo button on my GPS.”
State troopers attempted to corner the animal, but it easily outran multiple officers, leading one exasperated deputy to mutter, “He’s got more horsepower than our cruisers.”
As of press time, the zebra remains at large. Officials warn it may be armed with charm and extremely photogenic. Citizens are advised not to approach unless carrying apples, carrots, or a mirror.
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