(Worthy Satire) – In a rare moment of self-awareness—or possibly a caffeine crash—former FBI Director James Comey lashed out at “podcasters” Dan Bongino and Kash Patel for “reviewing” the infamous bag of cocaine found at the Biden White House, accusing them of conspiracy-mongering, defamation, and interrupting his deep-state power nap.
“These guys are in self-preservation mode,” Comey said, brushing C-SPAN lint off his cardigan. “They’re accusing the deep state of corruption as if I’m not part of the deep state. How dare they!”
Comey, who once investigated everyone in Washington except himself, condemned Bongino and Patel for “amateur sleuthing” on White House powder analysis. “I ran the FBI,” Comey added. “We had a system for this: we ‘misplace’ the evidence, then leak it to CNN in small, spooky doses.”
Bongino responded on his podcast: “Self-preservation mode? Bro, I’m not the one who wrote a memoir called A Higher Loyalty while leaking memos out the back door like they were pizza coupons.”
Patel chimed in, saying, “Comey blaming the deep state is like a raccoon blaming the trash — it lives there.”
Meanwhile, a spokesman from the former Biden administration confirmed that no one in the West Wing had ever seen the cocaine, touched the cocaine, or could even define the word “cocaine” —- at least not without first checking its pronouns.
The deep state declined comment but did issue a press release titled “We Were Never Here.”
Worthy Satire is meant purely for comedic purposes—after all, as Proverbs reminds us, “Laughter is good medicine.” But behind every satire is a real story, video, or event. For the unspun version of the headline, be sure to check out the original source. [ Source of the Satire (Read More…) ]
