Former President Joe Biden Might Be Senile, Sources Allege — Family Says He’s Just More ‘Reflective’ Now

(Worthy Satire) – Allegations have surfaced suggesting that former President Joe Biden might be showing signs of senility. His family quickly dismissed the claims, saying Joe’s just entered his “deep reflective grandpa phase.”

“He’s not losing his mind,” said Hunter Biden. “He’s just got a lot of memories to sort through… like the time he took the train to Delaware 8 million times, or when he fought Corn Pop with a broken chain and a dream.”

Friends close to the former president say he spends his days talking to beach umbrellas, retelling the story of passing the Infrastructure Bill to seagulls, and occasionally calling the microwave the “Oval Office.”

“He’s still got it,” insisted one longtime aide. “Just yesterday he looked directly into the toaster and said, ‘America is back!’”

When asked about current events, Biden reportedly responded, “I’ll handle that first thing tomorrow,” before wandering off to find his favorite ice cream shop.

Despite the rumors, his family insists he’s sharper than ever — just at a speed and volume only dogs can hear. A memoir is allegedly in the works, tentatively titled “Wait, What Was I Saying?”

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