SAN FRANCISCO (Worthy Satire) – In a bold move, Apple is reportedly considering raising iPhone prices to account for “increased air costs” in its production facilities.
“We’ve noticed that oxygen levels are fluctuating, and quality air doesn’t come cheap,” said Apple’s newly appointed VP of Atmospheric Economics. “We’re committed to ensuring every iPhone is assembled in the freshest, most premium air available. And really, we just want to do our part in saving the environment — by making sure each breath is as expensive as possible.”
The company also hinted that future models might include a new “Air Tax” feature, automatically adjusting prices based on the current air quality index.
Customers are encouraged to breathe deeply now — while it’s still free.
