(Worthy Satire) – In a stunning revelation that has sent shockwaves through the diaper industry, TikTok mommy influencer Chloe Sage claims she successfully potty-trained her 3-week-old baby, Sequoia-Rain. “It’s actually a LOT easier than you think,” Chloe told her 2.5 million followers while cradling Sequoia-Rain in one arm and balancing a glass of kombucha on her head.
According to Chloe, the secret lies in “mindful communication” with the newborn, a method she developed after attending a weekend seminar titled “Infant Enlightenment: The Journey to Diaper Freedom.”
“All it takes is a little positive reinforcement,” she said, demonstrating how she holds Sequoia-Rain over a mini toilet and chants, “Release the toxins, little one.”
The announcement has sent Pampers’ stock into a nosedive, with shareholders panicking over what some are calling “The Great Diaper Dump of 2025.”
