WASHINGTON, D.C.(Worthy Satire) – Panic erupted in the Democratic Party this week after Senator John Fetterman committed what insiders are calling “the gravest sin since someone forgot their pronouns.”
Speaking to reporters, Fetterman stated, “Donald Trump is not Hitler.”
The room fell silent. The Associated Press fainted. MSNBC went into a commercial break.
Democratic operatives rushed to spin the comment, reminding the public that the official party position is that Trump is, at minimum, “a hybrid of Hitler, Voldemort, and your worst ex.”
One consultant described the fallout: “We’ve spent eight years training voters to associate Trump with Hitler. Do you know how many resistance T-shirts, mugs, and Netflix documentaries we’ve sold on that premise? Fetterman’s basically committing campaign finance fraud with his mouth.”
Meanwhile, historians confirmed that Hitler never served fast food at the White House, never made gold-plated skyscrapers, and never had a cameo on Home Alone 2.
Still, Democratic leadership is demanding Fetterman attend a re-education camp, where he will be shown grainy black-and-white footage until he agrees that Trump is literally worse than every dictator in history, combined.
“Failure to comply,” one DNC memo read, “means we’ll start comparing him to … Ron DeSantis.”
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