Microsoft Finally Kills Off Skype, Holds Emotional Funeral Via Teams

SEATTLE, WASHINGTON — In a tear-filled farewell broadcasted exclusively on Microsoft Teams, the tech giant officially pulled the plug on Skype, the app that once ruled the world of awkward video calls and echo-laden conferences.

“Skype was more than just a glitchy app — it was a glitchy friend,” said Microsoft CEO Satya Nadella, dabbing away a single tear with a Teams-branded tissue. “We’ll never forget those endless ‘Can you hear me now?’ moments, the dropped calls during job interviews, and that iconic boing-boing ringtone.”

Attendees of the virtual funeral reported that the connection was spotty, the video froze repeatedly, and the audio lagged by several seconds — a fitting tribute to Skype’s true legacy. Meanwhile, Zoom sent a wreath of flowers with a note that read, “Thanks for the memories and the market share.”

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