WASHINGTON, D.C. (Worthy Satire) – President Donald Trump mocked Senate Majority Leader Chuck Schumer and fellow Democrats this week, quipping that their latest political blunders make it look like they’re “trying to run a marathon through a minefield.”
“They keep stepping on landmines — boom, boom, boom — it’s like a cartoon out there,” Trump told reporters. “You’d think after the fifth explosion, maybe they’d stop running. But no, they just keep running — harder to do when all your shoes are on fire.”
Capitol Hill insiders say Democrats have stumbled into so many “political traps” lately that Schumer has begun holding caucus meetings inside a bomb shelter, with aides frantically handing out helmets and “safe space” stress balls.
“Honestly, it’s less a legislative strategy than an episode of Looney Tunes,” one GOP aide said. “Schumer’s the coyote, Trump’s the roadrunner, and every bill the Democrats try to pass somehow comes from Acme.”
Trump ended his remarks with a grin: “Look, it’s hard to run the country when everything around you is blowing up — but it’s great entertainment. Better than CNN, I’ll tell you that.”
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