(Worthy Satire) – In a development so shocking meteorologists are scrambling to update the seven-day forecast for Hades, Hillary Clinton has publicly declared that President Trump has been “great” and went so far as to suggest he should be nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize.
While stunned onlookers wondered if Hillary had finally slipped into an alternate dimension, sources close to the former Secretary of State whispered that her sudden change of heart may be less about peace — and more about parole.
Facing a potential cocktail of investigations, indictments, and a prison cell with fewer amenities than Chappaqua, Hillary’s glowing remarks about her former nemesis are being read as a not-so-subtle plea for presidential clemency. “She’s basically offering the Nobel nomination as a down payment on a pardon,” quipped one Capitol Hill staffer.
Trump, for his part, appeared bemused. “Hillary saying nice things about me proves what I’ve always said — I can make deals nobody thought possible. Even the Devil is jealous of this one,” he told reporters.
Meanwhile, theologians confirmed reports of ice forming in the deepest recesses of Hell. Climate activists are already drafting a lawsuit against Clinton, blaming her for the sudden temperature drop.
As one political analyst summed it up: “This isn’t bipartisanship. It’s survival instinct dressed in a pantsuit.”
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