Trump Relieved He Didn’t Become Pope, Excited That ‘At Least’ the Pope Is Now American

WASHINGTON D.C. (Worthy Satire) – After failing to secure the papacy, Donald Trump expressed relief that the Vatican at least chose an American to lead the Catholic Church.

“I was this close to being the first Pope to put gold letters on the Vatican — big, beautiful, gold letters that you could see from space,” Trump said, holding his fingers an inch apart. “But hey, at least they went with an American. We’re winning again! I mean, it’s not Trump Tower, but it’s a start.”

While Trump did share an AI-generated image of himself as the Pope, he insisted it was all in good fun. “If I had won… well, who knows what the Catholic Church would look like now,” he joked.

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