Trump Looking to Rebrand Persian Gulf as ‘Arabian Sea — But Better,’ Says It’s ‘Tremendous, Fantastic, and Totally Not a War Starter’

WASHINGTON D.C. — Former President Donald Trump announced today that after successfully rebranding the Gulf of Mexico as the “Gulf of America,” he’s now setting his sights on renaming the Persian Gulf to the “Arabian Sea — But Better.”

“It’s a tremendous, fantastic new name,” Trump said while holding a map that looked suspiciously like a placemat from Mar-a-Lago’s seafood restaurant. “The Persians are going to love it. Or hate it. Probably hate it. But that’s okay because they’re not very nice to us anyway.”

At least the Saudis will love it,” Trump added. “They’re looking to build a few Trump Towers and hand over a lot of money, so we’re definitely making out on the deal. You win some, you win some more.”

Critics warn the move could trigger World War III, but Trump remained unfazed. “If you’re going to start a war, at least start it with branding,” he said, unveiling a new slogan: “Make Seas Great Again.”

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