(Worthy Satire) – In a bold move to “Make America Healthy Again,” the Trump administration has announced three new food colors that promise to “inject a little patriotism” into every meal.
“Forget synthetic dyes. We’re bringing you colors so American, they practically sing the national anthem,” said Robert F. Kennedy Jr., who was seen passionately waving a butterfly pea flower while announcing the new hues.
The new colors include:
Galdieria Extract Blue: Sourced from red algae because, as Kennedy noted, “If it’s good enough for fish, it’s good enough for us.”
Butterfly Pea Flower Extract: Producing shades of blue, purple, and green that are “perfect for red-state chips and blue-state dips.”
Calcium Phosphate White: Now approved for chicken products and sugar coatings, because “nothing says ‘America’ like fluorescent white meat,” Kennedy explained.
Trump himself endorsed the initiative, declaring, “We’re making food great again — and now it’s patriotic too. Just wait till you see the colors we’ll roll out when I get four more years!”
