PARIS (Worthy Satire) – In what French officials are calling both “a tragedy and a teachable moment,” thieves made off with over $100 million in jewels from the Louvre early Monday morning—after effortlessly bypassing the museum’s security system, which reportedly used “Louvre” as its password.
According to investigators, the hackers gained access to the surveillance network by typing “Louvre123” on their first try.
“We thought adding numbers made it secure,” admitted museum IT director Claude Desmarais, who was immediately placed on administrative leave but allowed to keep his beret. “Nobody told us passwords weren’t supposed to match the building’s name.”
Authorities say the group disabled cameras, unlocked security doors, and replaced the Mona Lisa’s smile with a Post-it note reading, “Thanks for the art.”
French President Emmanuel Macron called the theft “a national embarrassment,” while assuring citizens the government will “improve cybersecurity right after our next croissant break.”
The Louvre has since announced sweeping reforms to strengthen its digital defenses, including a new password policy requiring at least one baguette emoji and a silent letter.
Meanwhile, the museum’s priceless diamond collection remains missing, though experts say it’s likely “hidden somewhere far more secure—like the password settings page.”
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