Steak n Shake Embraces Bitcoin, Rebrands as Steaktoshi: “Now Serving Crypto Fries and Blockchain Shakes!”

(Worthy Satire) – In a bold move to stay ahead of the financial curve, Steak n Shake announced it will now accept Bitcoin at all locations starting May 16, declaring, “The movement is just beginning… and so are the transaction fees!”

Company executives unveiled the new “Steaktoshi” brand, complete with a limited-edition Double Crypto Burger, which comes with a side of NFT fries and a QR code that links to a blockchain ledger of every shake ever blended.

“We’re revolutionizing fast food,” said CEO Bit Stan, who was seen placing his entire salary into a digital wallet shaped like a burger. “Forget paper money — it’s greasy, outdated, and it doesn’t even have a cool logo of a cow with laser eyes.”

Early adopters can earn “Steakcoins,” which, according to the fine print, “may or may not be worth less than a penny by the time you finish your meal.”

“Bitcoin and beef — the ultimate pairing,” said one customer, who promptly lost his wallet password right after ordering. “Now, I just need to figure out how to tip in Dogecoin.”

Source — Steak n’ Shake Tweet

 

Breaking (Not Fake) News: Latest from Worthy News – No Satire, We Promise

France, Saudi Arabia to Host Two-State Solution Conference in Late July
France and Saudi Arabia will convene a high-level international conference aimed at advancing the two-state solution to the Israeli-Palestinian conflict on July 28-29, multiple diplomatic...

Trump Announces NATO Deal to Arm Ukraine, Slams Russia Over Escalating Attacks
President Donald Trump announced Thursday that the United States has reached a new deal with NATO to provide weapons to Ukraine, with full reimbursement from...

Sudan Demolishes Pentecostal Church Building
Civilians backed by Sudanese security forces have demolished the building of a Pentecostal Church in Sudan’s capital, Khartoum, Christians told Worthy News Friday. The post...

Peace Plan: Ukraine Split Up Feared
There was mounting concern Friday that Ukraine will be split up under a future peace deal and that Kyiv will be forced to accept it...

Europe Mourns At 30th Anniversary Of Srebrenica Massacre
Europe marks the 30th anniversary of the “Srebrenica massacre”, its worst single atrocity since World War Two. The post Europe Mourns At 30th Anniversary Of...

Catholic Priest Disappears In Colombia
A major Christian advocacy group has asked Colombia’s government to urgently “conduct a full and coordinated investigation” into the disappearance of a Roman Catholic priest...

USDA: 45m Acres Of American Land Owned By Foreign Entities
Nearly 46 million acres of forest and farmland are held by foreign investors, including by countries hostile to America, according to data released by the...

Israel, Hamas Edge Closer to Ceasefire Deal as Qatar-Led Gaza Reconstruction Takes Shape
Israel has agreed in principle to allow Qatar and other countries to begin funding the reconstruction of the Gaza Strip under the terms of a...

Israel and EU Agree to Expand Humanitarian Aid to Gaza
Israel and the European Union have reached a key agreement to expand humanitarian aid access to Gaza, EU foreign policy chief Kaja Kallas announced Thursday....

FISA Court Approves DOJ Review of Carter Page Surveillance as Congress Presses for Crossfire Hurricane Records
The Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Court (FISC) has granted the Justice Department permission to review and redact classified materials related to surveillance of former Trump adviser...

Eight Christian Leaders Found in Mass Grave in Colombia
In a tragic case of mistaken identity, Colombian authorities have uncovered a mass grave containing the bodies of eight evangelical Christian leaders who disappeared in...

Federal Judge Blocks Trump’s Birthright Citizenship Order Amid Ongoing Legal Battle
A federal judge in New Hampshire on Thursday issued a preliminary injunction blocking the enforcement of President Donald Trump's executive order that seeks to end...