(Worthy Satire) – The Cambridge Dictionary has officially embraced the modern dialect of TikTok with the addition of “skibidi” and “delulu,” proving once and for all that Shakespeare wasted his time inventing words when all he needed was a ring light and a dance challenge.
Linguists, however, warn that this is just the beginning. “Today it’s skibidi, tomorrow it’ll be ChatGPT pumping out gems like ‘blorptastic’ and ‘yeetonomy,'” said Dr. Harold Penn, clutching his Oxford English Dictionary like a life raft. “At some point, we’ll need a dictionary just to understand what the dictionary means.”
AI companies, not wanting to be left behind, are already beta-testing new vocabulary expansions. Rumors suggest the next edition may feature terms like “algoschmago” (when your algorithm refuses to cooperate), “promptnesia” (forgetting what you were about to ask the AI), and “skynetflix” (when the AI takes over but still offers decent streaming).
Meanwhile, English teachers across the world have given up, telling students, “Whatever. Just write your essay in emojis. The dictionary will catch up next semester.”
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