WASHINGTON, D.C. (Worthy Satire) – Senator Dick Durbin (D-IL) called on the Department of Justice and the FBI to investigate a series of anonymous pizza deliveries to federal judges, labeling the saucy act a “brazen assault on our judicial system.”
“What a waste of taxpayer dollars,” Durbin said while scrolling through a menu of stuffed crust options. “But seriously, where’s my pizza? And did the judges at least tip?”
According to sources, the deliveries included toppings like anchovies, pineapple, and—most disturbingly—extra olives. “This is clearly an attempt to influence judicial decisions through untraceable marinara,” Durbin added, before sending a federal subpoena to Papa John’s.
Worthy Satire is meant purely for comedic purposes—after all, as Proverbs reminds us, “Laughter is good medicine.” But behind every satire is a real story, video, or event. For the unspun version of the headline, be sure to check out the original source. [ Source of the Satire (Read More…) ]
