(Worthy Satire) – Astronomers announced this week that the so-called “Devil Comet” has provided the strongest evidence yet that comets transported water to Earth billions of years ago. According to researchers, we may owe every drop of our oceans–not to a Creator–but to a cosmic ice ball with horns.
“The comet probably dropped off the Pacific Ocean around 4.5 billion years ago,” one scientist speculated, “and then went on its merry way, like a giant interstellar Amazon Prime delivery.”
Skeptics, however, questioned whether humanity should really be crediting a giant frozen snowball for our survival. “So let me get this straight,” said one bewildered onlooker. “The scientists believe we’re sipping comet water every time we take a drink–yet refuse to consider that God might have simply spoken water into being. Apparently, Genesis is less believable than cosmic hail delivery service.”
Meanwhile, theologians had a field day. “In the beginning, God said ‘Let there be water,'” one pastor quipped. “Scientists counter: ‘Actually, it was the Devil Comet doing a sloppy cannonball into Earth’s atmosphere.’ If you’re going to deny God, at least pick a comet without horns.”
In the end, both sides agree on one thing: water is essential to life. The only difference is whether you think it came from a comet with branding straight out of a Halloween store–or from the One who made the heavens, the earth, and yes, even the comets.
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