(Worthy Satire) – The San Antonio Public Library was thrilled to see an overdue book finally returned after 82 years—until they realized the fine now outweighed the national lottery jackpot. Inside the cover was a note from the borrower’s family: “Grandma won’t be able to pay for it anymore.”
Undeterred, the library’s collections department sprang into action. According to witnesses, a pair of stern-looking agents were dispatched to the cemetery, where they left an official notice taped to Grandma’s headstone: “We’ll be expecting payment, or you may face eviction.”
A spokesperson defended the move, saying, “We don’t make exceptions. Whether you’re 8 years overdue or 82, dead is no excuse.”
Family members were horrified but admitted Grandma had been warned. “She used to joke about rolling over in her grave,” her grandson said. “Now it looks like she’ll have to—when the repo men show up with a shovel.”
The library says the debt will remain on the books, noting that fines, like diamonds and awkward family heirlooms, are forever. In the meantime, the book has been reshelved—though staff admit they’re keeping it under lock and key, just in case someone checks it out until 2107.
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