In a tense yet oddly cordial meeting at the White House, Canadian Prime Minister Mark Carney politely informed U.S. President Donald Trump that Canada is, in fact, not for sale. The statement came after Trump reportedly floated the idea of purchasing the Great White North as a way to resolve ongoing tariff disputes.

In a move that has left both political pundits and sports analysts scratching their heads, President Donald Trump announced that Washington D.C. will host the 2027 NFL Draft. The announcement, made from the Oval Office, was accompanied by a flurry of superlatives and a promise that this draft would be “the greatest in history.”