As America’s penny shortage deepens, businesses from McDonald’s to Mom-and-Pop diners are being forced to rethink how they make change — and how to face the grim new reality that a single copper coin is now worth more than most crypto.
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In a nation divided on nearly everything, there’s one debate that truly exposes the cracks in our civilization: Is a Twix bar food or fun?
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In a bold move that linguists are calling “either avant-garde or a cry for help,” Dictionary.com announced that its 2025 Word of the Year is “6-7′.”
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In a move that has peanut butter lovers nationwide sticking to their seats, The J.M. Smucker Company has filed a lawsuit against Trader Joe’s, accusing the grocer’s new crustless PB&J sandwiches of being “confusingly similar” to Smucker’s beloved Uncrustables.
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Democrats across America were left in collective disarray this week as footage emerged of tens of thousands of Israelis cheering for U.S. President Donald Trump — the very man they had spent years branding as “literally Hitler.”
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A Colorado man who parked at Denver International Airport for just 27 minutes was stunned to receive a bill for nearly $20,000 — but airport officials say it all makes perfect sense.
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Following new NASA research suggesting one of Saturn’s moons could support life, thousands of progressive activists immediately volunteered to leave Earth — preferably before the next election.
...click here to uncover the absurdity in every word! (Read More)
In a shocking move that has left both caffeine addicts and marketing professors scratching their heads, Maxwell House announced today it is officially rebranding itself as “Maxwell Apartment.”
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Israel announced that dozens of activists aboard a Gaza-bound flotilla will be deported after their attempt to breach the naval blockade fizzled out somewhere between the Mediterranean waves and Israeli bureaucracy.
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Engineers in Ukraine proudly announced that power has been fully restored to the Chernobyl nuclear plant after a sudden outage this week. The announcement stunned the public–not because electricity had been restored, but because apparently, Chernobyl is still running.
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As the federal government entered its latest shutdown, something remarkable happened: Americans discovered they could still order coffee, binge Netflix, and argue online without federal oversight.
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In his latest quest to liberate the internet from mediocrity, Elon Musk has unveiled “Grokipedia,” a rival to Wikipedia designed to harness AI’s “superior ability to gaslight humanity at scale.”
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In a move that surprised absolutely no one, congressional lawmakers quietly unloaded shares of Tylenol just before controversy over a possible autism link sent the stock tumbling.
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UFC CEO Dana White’s “60 Minutes” sit-down was supposed to be a serious conversation about culture and combat sports — until testosterone levels allegedly spiked so high in the studio that CBS staff had to call in a hazmat team.
Unveil the next twist – it’s a wild ride! (Read More)
Senate Majority Leader Chuck Schumer is warning that a government shutdown is imminent, but ordinary Americans are quietly wondering if that might actually be the best thing to happen to them all year.
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In a stunning turn of events, China has announced that it will, for the first time, vow to reduce greenhouse gas emissions — a pledge that comes only after decades of pumping out enough smoke to make the Industrial Revolution look like a backyard barbecue.
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In a move critics say finally acknowledges the “real workhorse” of the administration, the White House has replaced President Joe Biden’s official photo in the Presidential Walk of Fame with a glossy portrait of his autopen.
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In a bold move for “freedom of expression,” Google announced it will reinstate YouTube accounts that were censored for political speech, hailing the decision as a “victory for open dialogue.”
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The WNBA announced today that Indiana Fever star Caitlin Clark has been fined for “inappropriate remarks” about officiating. The amount? A whopping $200.
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The Cleveland Browns managed to beat the Green Bay Packers 13–10 Sunday, and within minutes federal investigators announced a full-scale probe into whether the game was “obviously rigged.”
Get ready for more – the story isn’t over yet! (Read More)