SILICON VALLEY, CA — Tech developers have issued an emergency recall of over 1,200 self-driving robotaxis after a software glitch caused multiple crashes. The culprit? The cars were being reprogrammed to handle situations where passengers might suddenly vanish mid-ride due to the Rapture.
“We expected drunk riders, spontaneous karaoke, even childbirth in the backseat,” said lead engineer Elon McGospel, “but we never accounted for millions of believers disappearing in the twinkling of an eye. That’s a coding oversight.”
The updated software, dubbed “Rapture Readiness 3:16”, will include protocols for sudden seatbelt release, floating garments, and in-ride notifications like “Your passenger has been caught up in glory. Please remain calm.”
Several cities reported chaos as the unprepared robotaxis continued driving aimlessly after Spirit-filled riders were whisked away heavenward. One car in Nashville reportedly circled a church parking lot for hours blasting Chris Tomlin songs, awaiting divine instructions.
Christian developers are also lobbying Congress to require all autonomous vehicles to include a “Tribulation Mode,” which would automatically reroute the remaining passengers to the nearest altar or underground home church.
“We’re not saying the Rapture is tomorrow,” said one spokesman. “But if it is, you don’t want your AI confused when your driver evaporates on the way to Cracker Barrel.”
WayTruth Inc., a Christian tech firm, is working on a backup feature that displays Romans Road Scriptures on the windshield for any left-behind passengers—“just in case they want one more chance before traffic gets… apocalyptic.”
Their new slogan? “Driverless. Faith-Filled. Rapture-Ready.”
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