(Worthy Satire) – In a stunning blow to Paris, Bali, and that one pharmacy in Tijuana, New Zealand has officially been crowned the “Best Place to Have Herpes,” thanks to a cheeky public health ad that has now gone viral — in more ways than one.
The award-winning campaign, funded by the New Zealand Sexual Health Authority (NZSHA), features beaming Kiwis frolicking through lush landscapes, climbing glaciers, and sharing awkward STI disclosures over flat whites. The slogan? “If you’re going to get herpes, get it somewhere beautiful.”
Critics called the campaign “insensitive,” “hilarious,” and “shockingly relatable,” while Tourism New Zealand immediately adopted it as their secondary slogan, replacing 100% Pure with 100% Positive (HSV-2).
NZSHA spokesperson Dr. Poppy Hives defended the campaign: “We just wanted to destigmatize herpes and boost tourism. And if we can do both with one itchy, beautiful ad, why not?”
The award ceremony was held in Geneva, where New Zealand representatives were presented with a golden blister-shaped trophy. Australia responded by launching their own campaign: “At least you didn’t get it in Perth.”
Rumors are swirling that Iceland, jealous of the win, is preparing a counter-ad: “Our volcanoes aren’t the only thing that occasionally erupts.”
Meanwhile, herpes sufferers worldwide are reportedly Googling flight deals to Auckland — because if you’re going to flare up, it might as well be with a view of the Southern Alps.
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