Macron and Wife Toast Croissants as Paris Burns, Call Riots “Fiery Expression of French Passion”

PARIS (Worthy Satire) – With plumes of smoke rising over the Eiffel Tower and mobs flipping Citroëns like crepes, French President Emmanuel Macron and his wife Brigitte clinked champagne glasses from a secure rooftop terrace, celebrating what they described as “the vibrant spirit of French democracy.”

“We are not ignoring the unrest,” Macron assured reporters while nibbling on a lavender-infused croissant. “We are simply choosing to interpret it through the lens of art and revolution — or as the French call it, Tuesday.”

The riots, now stretching into a second day, have engulfed Paris and several major cities after Macron floated the idea of recognizing a Palestinian state, winning praise in international salons and Molotov cocktails at home. Protesters took to the streets to express their opinions using time-honored French tools: fire, flair, and furniture-hurling.

First Lady Brigitte Macron, decked out in a fireproof Dior ensemble, commented on the chaos. “This is France at her finest — expressive, passionate, and occasionally on fire. We wouldn’t have it any other way.”

Meanwhile, Interior Ministry officials have proposed installing QR codes on protest signs to expedite insurance claims, while the Louvre remains closed after someone attempted to trade the Mona Lisa for a baguette and a smoke bomb.

Back on the rooftop, Macron raised a toast: “To liberty, equality, and extremely flammable outrage.”

Sources say the president is considering a national address once he finishes his crème brûlée.

Worthy Satire is meant purely for comedic purposes—after all, as Proverbs reminds us, “Laughter is good medicine.” But behind every satire is a real story, video, or event. For the unspun version of the headline, be sure to check out the original source. [ Source of the Satire (Read More…) ]

💡 Did you know? Worthy Satire survives on likes, comments, and shares. Shocking, we know.

📢 Every 👍 click, 💬 quip, and 🔄 repost confuses the algorithms into thinking we’re important — and helps this comical piece travel a little further. 🙌

💬 Discuss this on our forums
Rumors Spread About Local “Communist Church” After Poorly Parked Van Causes Doctrinal Confusion
In a shocking twist of typography, a local Baptist congregation has found itself at the center of Cold War-era conspiracy...

Spiders Deploy Firefly Nightlights, Accidentally Invent the World’s Worst All-You-Can-Eat Buffet
Local spiders have apparently upgraded their hunting strategy from "web and wait" to "Vegas Strip light show." According to entomologists,...

Squirrel Interrupts Yankees–Red Sox, Thanks God for NYC Gun Laws, Lands Baseball Card Deal
In a shocking upset to decades of baseball tradition, Topps has officially issued a baseball card not for Aaron Judge,...

Cracker Barrel Caves, Brings Back Classic Logo — Turns Out Old Man Wasn’t Dead, Just Napping for 40 Years
After days of customer backlash over its new minimalist logo, Cracker Barrel shocked the world Tuesday by bringing back its...

FCC Kills Robocalls—Nation Wonders Who Will Harass Them at Dinner Now
In a shocking move sure to leave millions of Americans staring at their silent phones in despair, the Federal Communications...

“It’s a Trap!”: Trump Says Democrats Mistake Washington for Minefield, Schumer Still Searching for His Legs
President Donald Trump mocked Senate Majority Leader Chuck Schumer and fellow Democrats this week, quipping that their latest political blunders...

Social Media Erupts After DNC Speaker Says Migrant Crime, Carjackings Don’t Matter– Party Floats Idea of Ride-Sharing Without Consent
The Democratic National Committee is facing heavy backlash after a convention speaker dismissed concerns over migrant-related crime, claiming that carjackings...