Ilhan Omar’s $30 Million Fortune Declared ‘Spiritual Monopoly Money’

(Worthy Satire) – Rep. Ilhan Omar (D-MN) is making headlines after reports revealed her net worth has ballooned to nearly $30 million—despite her insistence back in February 2025 that she had “barely thousands, let alone millions.”

Turns out she was telling the truth, just not in the way she meant. She may be swimming in cash, but according to her critics, she’s still flat broke where it counts.

Insiders say Omar’s new fortune hasn’t bought her peace. “She’s rich in dollars, but bankrupt in spirit,” one observer quipped. “It’s like the Bible says: you can have barns bursting with grain and still go hungry if you’re missing the Bread of Life.”

Detractors were quick to compare her to the rich man in Luke 12 who built bigger barns, bragged about early retirement, and then got audited by Heaven overnight. The divine verdict? Assets seized, soul foreclosed.

So while Omar’s balance sheet may boast $30 million on paper, her critics insist the spiritual ledger tells a different story. Or as one wag on Capitol Hill put it: “She’s not just broke—she’s bouncing checks in eternity.”

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