Greta Thunberg Announces Second Gaza Protest Flotilla — Says She Wants to Smile Again

(Worthy Satire) – Climate activist and part-time maritime drama enthusiast Greta Thunberg announced today that she will embark on a second Gaza protest flotilla, declaring her main motivation was to “finally feel joy again.”

“The last time I truly smiled,” Thunberg said wistfully, “was when the Israeli Navy boarded my last boat. There’s just something about heavily armed commandos swinging onto the deck that warms my eco-warrior heart. I want to feel that spark again.”

The upcoming voyage, dubbed Operation Hug the Harbor, will feature an all-organic, solar-powered, gluten-free vessel—although sources confirm it will be secretly towed by a diesel tug “for emergencies, photo ops, and Starbucks runs.”

Critics have questioned the wisdom of a second flotilla, but Thunberg insists it’s necessary for her personal growth. “Sure, I could protest in Sweden, but nothing says ‘making a difference’ like getting politely arrested in international waters while live-streaming to Instagram,” she explained.

When asked if she feared another IDF boarding party, Thunberg grinned for the first time in months. “That’s the point,” she whispered. “Board me, boys… for the planet.”

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