JERUSALEM (Worthy Satire) – In a moment hailed by some as “prophetic” and by others as “a well-meaning, but slightly confused reenactment,” a lamb was ceremonially brought up to the Temple Mount for the first time in 2,000 years to commemorate the Second Passover — a biblical make-up day for anyone who missed the original due to travel, impurity, or, apparently, modern schedules.
Thousands gathered in awe, many whispering phrases like, “This must be what the prophets spoke of!” while conveniently forgetting that the actual fulfillment of those prophecies showed up on a donkey 2,000 years ago — and left behind an empty tomb.
Rabbi Eli Shankelman, one of the event’s organizers, declared, “This is a beautiful restoration of our heritage. We have the altar stones, the garments, the shofars, and now, finally, the lamb!”
When asked about Jesus — the One who John the Baptist literally pointed out as “the Lamb of God who takes away the sin of the world” — Shankelman paused, blinked twice, and replied, “Yes, well… we’re still looking into that.”
Even the lamb seemed confused, reportedly making eye contact with a nearby pastor as if to say, “Didn’t someone already do this — once for all?”
Temple Institute officials say they hope this event paves the way for future offerings. Meanwhile, heavenly sources report the Lamb who was slain is still patiently interceding… and hoping someone reads Hebrews 10 before the next Passover.
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