(Worthy Satire) – In a startling turn of events, CNN has admitted that President Donald Trump may have—brace yourself—told the truth about something. This revelation came just moments after the Bureau of Labor Statistics released data showing the sharpest drop in grocery prices in nearly five years, including a 12.7% plunge in egg prices, the likes of which haven’t been seen since Ghostbusters was in theaters and Reagan was in office.
“Okay, fine,” sighed a visibly exhausted CNN anchor during Tuesday’s segment. “Egg prices are… true now. Happy?”
The network, which only three weeks earlier ran a full special entitled The Myth of the 99-Cent Egg: How Trump’s Grocery Claims Scramble the Truth, has since updated the chyron to read “Egg Prices Now Down, But at What Cost to Democracy?”
In response, President Trump held a brief press conference from the dairy aisle of a Florida Publix.
“Folks, I said it. I knew it. I felt it. Prices are down. The eggs are cheaper. Tremendously cheaper. Even CNN had to admit it, which is like getting the devil to quote the Bible!”
Meanwhile, CNN’s Fact Check team is reportedly reviewing other Trump claims, including “water is wet” and “the sky is blue,” though internal sources say the mood is grim.
“We may have to start including ‘for now’ disclaimers,” one analyst whispered. “He’s setting a dangerous precedent: being accidentally correct.”
As for CNN, executives announced a new segment launching next week: Things Trump Said That Were Technically Accurate But Still Emotionally Incorrect.
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