71% of Democrats Want Elon Musk in Prison: ‘He’s Making Us All Look Bad by Actually Doing Stuff’

(Worthy Satire) – In a shocking new poll, 71% of Democrats expressed a desire to see Elon Musk behind bars, citing reasons ranging from “excessive tweeting” to “making us look lazy.”

“He’s out here launching rockets, building electric cars, and talking to aliens on Mars while we’re still trying to figure out how to pass a budget,” said Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez. “It’s unfair, frankly. Nobody should be allowed to work that hard and get away with it.”

Sources say that some lawmakers are drafting legislation to imprison anyone who sends more than five tweets a day, with a special provision for those who insist on naming their children after random numbers and symbols.

“If we can’t get him on breaking the laws of physics, we’ll get him on breaking the laws of common sense,” said Sen. Elizabeth Warren. “Besides, prison might be the only way to keep him off X.”

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